Last Day of the Year

Last Day of 2017.

Incredible how quickly time flies. This time last year I was a giddy grad student getting ready to fly back to Boston to take a winter course called Topics in Ed Psychology. I loved the course, the classmates, and the way the instructor directed the class. I was mesmerized by the content as much as the way he had organized the course for us--content was great, but his teaching style was definitely something else. It was my happy place indeed. I miss those carefree walks to class and leisurely stopping by cafes along the way.

This year, I'm going back to Boston more confused than ever. Winter break unraveled a lot of hurt that I had not noticed and also unveiled incredibly deep joys that I came to so appreciate. When the Church hurts, the rest of the body does too. I learned this so tangibly over the break. Our words have consequences, many of them unseen. I had flashbacks of my church split when I was in middle school--the hurt, the bitterness, the confusion that it brought.

Through all this, I keep thinking of the children. The two toddlers who wrapped their little arms around their daddy's legs as the congregation surrounded their dad to pray for him. The young freshman in college who silently wept before me, crying for her parents who chose a life that she did not have a say in.

I think of the sacrifices of our ministry leaders and realize that they can only make these hard decisions here on earth because they truly see this life as temporal and await a life that is eternal. Once again the verse that spoke to me at the beginning of 2017 continues to resound ever so loudly at its end--it's as if it's getting louder and louder.

Reminder: remember the children always--they see us and understand more than we think.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."-Matt. 6:19-21

Signs of a Mature Church

Sunday Sermon Notes

Pastor Paul Kim.

Renewal.

"A Missional and Mature Church..."

...has the right focus on the right person. The focus of the church is Jesus and not on human celebrities. Are we amazed by the message of the church? Don't celebrate the donkey--he is simply a carrier of the good news. Focus on the man on the donkey.

...elevates the parts of the body that seem weaker. Celebrate weakness. The church must honor those that seem less honorable. It is counter-cultural.

...has very few spectators. Instead of the 80/20 rule, 80 percent should do 100 percent of the work. The other 20 percent should be visitors. It is a big team with very few spectators. The church will be a movement when the body of Christ is released in this crusade.

...has love. There must be love. There is a reason why 1 Corinthians 13 is sandwiched between two chapters on spiritual gifts. Without love, there is nothing. 

ESL Musings

We were asked to share one thing that we have been learning through our studies.

She looked down to collect her thoughts and finally spoke:

I still have questions about God and have doubts. But I know one thing. I want to be like the people who follow Jesus. 

Moments like these I am reminded of the power of God and His divine appointments.
They are indeed divine.

Witnessing miracles every Friday morning. One of my greatest blessings here in Boston.

Love is the Foundation

"Wow, that'a amazing," she breathed.

Her words stopped me in my tracks. My mind just seconds before was buzzing with ideas on what to do next--it was on panic mode after I woke up just an hour before, way after sleeping past my alarm and fully aware that I have a paper due in just 2 hours that was nowhere near complete. It was in the shower when God gave me 1 Corinthians 13 to go over for my first study with my ESL student and dear friend. I felt stripped of control, completely unprepared, totally undone. If a miracle was to happen, there was nothing I could take credit for. And perhaps that was exactly where He wanted me.

This morning I had the honor of guiding a sister through prayer and reading the Word. As we read verse by verse, back and forth from English to Chinese, I could see her eyes widen, her voice pause, and her eyes scan the passage once more. I don't think the Chinese translation is right, she would murmur at times. Just that Sunday, the pastor preached about the living Word. Indeed it is. How could I doubt it when I see my dear friend so captivated after her first reading of this infamous chapter on love? This chapter that I had memorized in elementary school and almost outgrown and taken for granted. She, however, saw His words with fresh eyes. The way they were to be seen and understood. She, was hearing His voice. And I? I was seeing it.

"Love is the foundation," she concluded.

Yes, it is. It really is.
When we reachout, God really does reachin.
Blessed beyond measure in this place.

You unravel me, Lord.
May I never forget what it is like to approach Your Word with childlike faith.
Never ever. May I never grow tired of hearing Your voice.

If you sent me all the way to Boston to witness this,
this was all so worth it.

Lessons from a Blind Man

Blind Bartimaeus Receives His Sight

"Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus."What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”“Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road." -Mark 10: 45-52

Once again, Friday morning comes, and excitement rattles my bones. ESL classes at Highrock have been so life-giving for me here in Cambridge. Gathered in a room full of believers and non-believers alike, we delve into the Word after English class to receive fresh insight in ways that I've never experienced before. Today, God spoke against my stubborn tendency to do. I find myself constantly asking, "God, what can I do for you?" when He is actually telling me something else.

Be like the blind beggar, Cathy. Throw your cloak aside. Throw aside your most treasured possession and come to me. Jump to your feet and come to me. 

As I look through my emails and long list of to-dos, I'm starting to understand now.

What do you want me to do for you?

This is mind-boggling. This is almost exasperating. How could the God of the universe, the God of my very breath moving through my lungs right now, dare ask me this question?

Lord, I want more faith. I want to see you the way the blind man did. Because if I don't see you for who you really are, I will never be willing or able to throw my cloak aside. Grant me this.