By Your Side
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
-tenth avenue north
The last time I heard this was during inner city missions in West Philly last summer, but I had a sudden craving to hear this song again just now.
I let my girlie side roam freely in front of chick flicks, but tonight's movie was different. Instead of the happy, fluttery feelings it usually gives me, I found myself numb to its charm and dissatisfied by its "picture-perfect" ending. Don't get me wrong, I'm usually easily won over by cute quotes and romantic story lines, which I'm not always proud of. However, there was something about this one that seemed way too...planned? By the time the credits started rolling, I realized that I was neither wooed nor impressed with the story presented before me. When did I become so critical? so cynical?
Or...did life just make me wiser? Weirdly enough, I kept thinking about the other characters other than the two who finally end up together and hog the spotlight for the entire movie. What about the ones they left behind? Did they find their own happy endings or are they too busy mending their own broken hearts?
For the first time, a chick flick left me feeling empty. lonely. abandoned. forgotten.
Then I felt God whispering His love again for me through this song.
I didn't get a chance to spend much time with Him today.
I'm so vulnerable. so weak. so easily won over.
I realize how much I need His word to constantly protect me, sustain me, fill me.
I think now's a good time to delve into something that's more wholesome to my heart.
...something that's more satisfying than fabricated fairytale endings.
mm yes, Goodnight<3
