"Let the words of my mouth

and the meditation of my heart

be acceptable in your sight,

O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."

-Psalm 19:14

Refreshing News

It rained in Dallas today. A few months ago this would not have been a big deal, but after an entire summer without rain, I've never been so excited to see the dark clouds roll in yesterday or been so happy to hear the downpour that took me by surprise early this morning. After weeks yearning for even a SPRINKLE of rain, God sent buckets. It was as if the clogged faucet upstairs was finally fixed and months of stored water had just been hurled down from the sky. Sans umbrella, I ran out to the car as I wrinkled my face and grinned with glee, letting the water droplets hit my nose and freely roll down my cheeks. So refreshing today was. God is faithful. Just like in the days of Elijah, He answers prayers and waters the earth.

On that same note, I received news earlier this week of how God is continuing to water the plants across the globe, in beloved Cameroon. He is growing the seeds that He has sown there last summer. What a joy it was to hear about the team's safe return and to see my beautiful host family through the pictures that were posted. Oh my, how they have grown! Here's a little follow-up:

(L to R) Justin delivering my care package, Billy-Brunzie with what now appears

to be a full head of hair, Chelsea a few inches taller than the last time I saw him

2010. Here I am with my then-pregnant host mom Lucy

2011. Lucy today with her new baby Faith!!

2010. We planted non-native fruit seeds in Lucy's garden last summer

2011. Paul took a picture of its progress today! Praise God :)

Though the team was a lot smaller this year, those who went were able to share with the Wimbum adults a recording of the Kande Story, a story that educates about HIV/AIDS. What an amazing opportunity. I still remember the cries and funeral songs coming from a home in the village last summer. Even within the two short weeks that I was there, I would come across a family mourning the death of a young mother who succumbed to the virus.The world is broken and hurting, but God is moving and working. I find hope in that tonight, and I will rest in that tomorrow. I praise You Lord, for the Go-ers, the Senders, and the Intercessors this year. When I see that healthy baby and that growing plant, I see nothing but Your faithfulness. And I thank You that you care for us even more than a few plant seeds.

"I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building." -1 Cor 3:6-9

Goodnight, and happy Sunday :]

Soli Deo Gloria

Frustration.

I felt lots of it while completing just a few simple tasks today.

Nothing out of the ordinary...simply folding papers and preparing envelopes.

But I was little miss cranky pants who wanted to go home and rest.

I kept thinking about what else I could've been doing.

It's frightening to see how full of sin I am

and how quickly I can fall back.

Changing.

I noticed my attitude shifts depending on what I'm doing

not whom I'm doing it for.

While I joyfully taught Bible stories to children under the Oklahoma sun last month,

folding pamphlets for next week's worship service seemed like such a chore today.

If only I saw each task as a pleasing sacrifice to the one and only.

Would I be just as joyful serving my family by taking the trash out

as I would be in babysitting the little ones from church?

Jesus said, "One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much" (Luke 16:10),

but was I really being faithful in the little task that was given me

when I was grumbling in my heart? sigh.

Dear heart,

why so prone to forget?

why so prone to rebel?

why so selfish in all your ways?

Unchanging.

Jesus.

I need to cling to You.

Daily. Moment by Moment.

Every day I am tempted.

Tempted to take the crown

fully knowing that its weight will crush me.

Lord of my life, help me. Forgive me. Heal me.

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." -Cor. 10:31

Hunger

Famine in Somalia

The breakfast biscuit that I devoured this morning

isn't sitting too well in my stomach anymore.

While I hungrily scanned the menu, little did I know that thousands of children

were starving to death in this war-torn country alone.

Yes, Texas has been going through a drought.

It has been over 100 degrees here for as long as I can remember.

I sigh every time I step out into the heat

and groan when the a/c doesn't exceed its potential.

Yet, I'm still eating. I'm still sheltered. I'm still breathing.

But in Somalia?

They're starving. They're homeless. They're struggling for life.

What is a slight inconvenience to me is a life-threatening menace to them.

How much does it take for me to realize that I don't deserve the life that I have?

That it is only by the grace of God that I'm not over there starving to death?

News like this comes up all the time, but this one hit especially hard just now.

And it very well should. All the time.

My heart aches. I am so ashamed.

My head is already days ahead worrying about nonsense

when there are others who can't fathom living another hour.

Wisdom in spending. Diligence in prayer.

Humility at all costs.

God help us.

God help me.

Unfinished

http://www.oneverse.org/project/nugunu?fb-donate=true

After hearing all about the intricate process that is Bible translation last summer, 26 dollars really seems like nothing. How many times has a book of the Bible, let alone a single verse, gotten me through a difficult period in my life? Oh, the thought of not being able to read or hear His word whenever I wanted in a language that I understood! I took it for granted for far too long. How spoiled am I.

I must remember the faces of the Wimbum men as they received the Word of God in Limbum. I must prayerfully await the return of this year's Cameroon team. Oh how much my heart ached to go back with the others when I visited the Wycliffe compound this past weekend. Oh how much I want to see the faces of the Ngome family as they open the care package, and oh how much I long to hold Lucy's new baby. Oh how my ears itch to hear the little children shout, "Kangssi"! Oh how much I long to praise with the jingweh tahtaps (strong women) of the village. Oh how much I want to chase little Billy-Brunzie through the dirt and toss a frisbee around with Noel.

Yet, by the grace of God, I will learn to be still. I will learn to pray for those God sent this summer and grow in the knowledge of a Father who is still much more than I know Him to be.

Daddy, it is truly by Your grace that my soul can rest in your goodness, in the Truth, every day. Please make this accessible to the millions, to the billions out there who are hungering for more. Give me the heart to share the Living Water with the thirsty in this dry and desolate land. Please be with Paul and Justin as they lead your workers out into the harvest. Flood Taku with Your mighty presence and renew their spirits. Bring them to yourself Daddy, for You are good.

Five Facts of Five

I can't believe it took me almost a week to fully unpack my suitcase.

After filtering through my emails, I came across a questionnaire that I had to complete for my school upon my return. It was surprisingly a good way for me to reflect on the last six months, so I thought I would post it here. So here goes!

The five things that I enjoyed most about studying abroad were:

1. Gaining a new perspective through the locals

my kebab grandpa from Tunisia! :]

2. Hearing and speaking French every day

3. Friendships at the foyer...meaningful dinner conversations

4. Working with the little ones at La Schola

precious Isabelle and Victoria

5. The ability to travel near and far (merci metro and European transportation)

Five things that were difficult or bothered me the most while I have been abroad are:

1. Returning to an empty apartment after work

2. Stumbling for words and worrying that the message didn't get through correctly

3. Homelessness in the city and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness

4. Seeing tourists from a resident's perspective and realizing just how obnoxious we could be

5. Coming to terms with my weaknesses...especially while writing my mémoire

The five things I missed most about home while I had been abroad are:

1. Sitting down to dinner with my family

brotherbear and mommy. hehe.

daddy and brotherbear

2. Small group with my nurturing group of sisters

freshmen sg all abroad (L to R): Fran, Eng, Scot, Eng, Scot, Fran :]

3. Praising God in my native language

4. Being able to call loved ones whenever I wanted

5. Not having to wordreference so much!

The five things I have missed least since I have been abroad are:

1. The huge portions...did everything get bigger?

2. Big highway

3. The scorching Texas heat

4. Fake bread. Fake cheese.

5. Taxes!

My greatest single challenge while I have been abroad has been:

Uncovering the pride within me and being forced to swallow it whole. I was afraid to speak out of fear--fear of making a fool out of myself? No, deep inside was a desire to impress and be accepted. Instead, I learned what it felt like for many first-generation Koreans like my parents, who continue to adjust in this fast-paced American society. Every laugh, jeer, even Chinese chingchongchang, was a jab at this ball of pride festering within me. I giggled with them, but deep inside I grew disheartened. The first few months were tough. Every time I lined up at the local boulangerie; every time I interviewed a teacher or parent; every time I stood in front of students to introduce myself or give a presentation. Fortunately for me, this would be the essential ingredient in truly learning another language. Funny how that works, no?

And now I would like to conclude with my own list...

Five Things I learned/re-learned about God while abroad:

1. He is faithful.

2. He loves the people of Paris.

3. He cries with me.

4. He is healer.

5. He wants me to hunger for more.

A bientot, Paris.

What do you do on your last day in Paris? At first I surveyed the list of things that I still have yet to do tacked on my wall. The piece of cardboard stared back at me with its faded traces of highlighter marks, crossed-out locations, and the occasional asterisks that put some order to it...

Being the ISFJ that I was, I began to make a list of all the things that I could possibly squeeze into one day. Then I realized, this is my last day. The museums, the shops, and the parks that I wanted to visit will most likely always be here. But the people? It started to hit me that we are all going back to our lives in the States and that I will never be able to live this moment again with them--our memories and experiences that no one else would completely understand back home.

Thus, I ended up lounging around on the grass by the foyer with some of my closest friends as we looked back on our semester abroad. What a relaxing day. It was not what I had planned, but it was simply perfect. From the wonderful company of friends, to the sunshine, the food, the music, and the conversations, I could not have asked for more.

I know I will be going home to a lot of "What was it like?" and other questions related to my experience abroad, but I can't even wrap my head around the fact that it all even happened. It's almost 5 in the morning right now as I type...the black sky has turned a shade of midnight blue and the birds are already chirping outside. The streets are still quiet, but I know in about two hours the clattering garbage truck will make its usual rounds and wake up the usual sleepers. The sun will come up and smile upon this city again, and everything will go as it usually does on Fridays. Meanwhile, one more resident will be picked up by the shuttle and she will press her head against the window to capture every inch of the city en route to the airport.

My stomach is up in the air right now. I'm at the tip of the roller-coaster right before the plunge. I don't know what to expect or how I will feel going back down. At least I know that everything I left behind will be the same and that there are others who will take part in this incredible ride after me. As of now, I'm going to throw my hands up in the air and praise the God who guides me through every turn.

I know that there's a great thrill awaiting me as I descend, and quite frankly, I'm excited.

Thank you to all my prayer partners throughout these past 6 months.
And merci mille fois, mon Dieu. Tu es vraiment bon.