"Deep, unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism, a regeneration, the initiation into a new state" -George Eliot
I came across this quote in my devotionals yesterday morning and again in the afternoon as I read chapter 42 in Adam Bede.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. -Isaiah 139: 23-24
I remember a banner that hung in one of my classes in high school. It read: "The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra."
I've been noticing more and more that God takes the "ordinary" things in my life and makes it "extraordinary." Thank you Jesus. I want to capture these moments and treasure them here.
So, welcome. Welcome to my thoughts, to a day in my "extra-ordinary" life. Put that into French and you get ma vie "extraordinaire" :)
nightmare [n]: a terrifying dream in which the dreamer experiences feelings of helplessness, extreme anxiety, sorrow, etc. (dictionary.com)
A little background. These past few weeks, I have been suffering cramps in my thighs, which forced me into an awkward hunch that ultimately brought upon a searing pain in my back every time I ran or tried to walk straight.
Groaning once again as I climbed into bed last night, I fell into a deep sleep.
The nightmare. I was in Nigeria a couple weeks ago during the mass Christian killings, frantically running for my life with many other terrified women and children into a grassy field. Instead of machetes, these ruthless men wielded hatchets while some carried out lifeless bodies, victims of these brutal murders. I remember everything clearly. One of the few men in our crowd knelt to the ground and buried his face in his hands. I trembled in utter fear as I helplessly watched one of the hatchet-bearers raise the weapon to strike his back. His shoulders shook, but the man did not utter a word. I could hear myself screaming in my head. Right after I closed my eyes, I heard the weapon swing into his back with a chilling thud....right before I woke up from this terrifying nightmare.
I woke up FROM this dream, but I realized that this is the kind of world many wake up TOeveryday. People are being persecuted as I study, as I go to class, as I jump into the warm comforts of my bed at the end of the day. God placed a burden in my heart to pray this morning. Pray for the world, Africa, and the people of Cameroon whom, God willing, I will be meeting this summer. He shook me out of my complacency. Father, thank you for the wake-up call.
Despite the cloudy day that greeted me this morning, I felt like I needed to get some fresh air after that terrifying episode. What's strange is that as I rolled out of bed, I didn't feel that pain shoot up my back anymore! I couldn't believe it so I started into a light jog when I stepped outside and still--nothing! Wow, it was as if that guy who took the hatchet to his back in my dream took the brunt of my back pain as well.
After five days walking with a hunched back, I felt so free again.
I joyously ran to the rec center and called my mom along the way to tell her about it. She, being the wonderfully discerning woman she is, noted how this nightmare may have been God's way of reminding me of what these upcoming weeks leading to Easter are all about.
Jesus took the ultimate blow. Jesus takes my hurt away and liberates me from it, so I can run outside and find beauty in this soggy wet day. Thank you for freeing me Lord Jesus. Thank you for loving me too much to leave me complacent and dry.
