Five Facts of Five

I can't believe it took me almost a week to fully unpack my suitcase.

After filtering through my emails, I came across a questionnaire that I had to complete for my school upon my return. It was surprisingly a good way for me to reflect on the last six months, so I thought I would post it here. So here goes!

The five things that I enjoyed most about studying abroad were:

1. Gaining a new perspective through the locals

my kebab grandpa from Tunisia! :]

2. Hearing and speaking French every day

3. Friendships at the foyer...meaningful dinner conversations

4. Working with the little ones at La Schola

precious Isabelle and Victoria

5. The ability to travel near and far (merci metro and European transportation)

Five things that were difficult or bothered me the most while I have been abroad are:

1. Returning to an empty apartment after work

2. Stumbling for words and worrying that the message didn't get through correctly

3. Homelessness in the city and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness

4. Seeing tourists from a resident's perspective and realizing just how obnoxious we could be

5. Coming to terms with my weaknesses...especially while writing my mémoire

The five things I missed most about home while I had been abroad are:

1. Sitting down to dinner with my family

brotherbear and mommy. hehe.

daddy and brotherbear

2. Small group with my nurturing group of sisters

freshmen sg all abroad (L to R): Fran, Eng, Scot, Eng, Scot, Fran :]

3. Praising God in my native language

4. Being able to call loved ones whenever I wanted

5. Not having to wordreference so much!

The five things I have missed least since I have been abroad are:

1. The huge portions...did everything get bigger?

2. Big highway

3. The scorching Texas heat

4. Fake bread. Fake cheese.

5. Taxes!

My greatest single challenge while I have been abroad has been:

Uncovering the pride within me and being forced to swallow it whole. I was afraid to speak out of fear--fear of making a fool out of myself? No, deep inside was a desire to impress and be accepted. Instead, I learned what it felt like for many first-generation Koreans like my parents, who continue to adjust in this fast-paced American society. Every laugh, jeer, even Chinese chingchongchang, was a jab at this ball of pride festering within me. I giggled with them, but deep inside I grew disheartened. The first few months were tough. Every time I lined up at the local boulangerie; every time I interviewed a teacher or parent; every time I stood in front of students to introduce myself or give a presentation. Fortunately for me, this would be the essential ingredient in truly learning another language. Funny how that works, no?

And now I would like to conclude with my own list...

Five Things I learned/re-learned about God while abroad:

1. He is faithful.

2. He loves the people of Paris.

3. He cries with me.

4. He is healer.

5. He wants me to hunger for more.

A bientot, Paris.

What do you do on your last day in Paris? At first I surveyed the list of things that I still have yet to do tacked on my wall. The piece of cardboard stared back at me with its faded traces of highlighter marks, crossed-out locations, and the occasional asterisks that put some order to it...

Being the ISFJ that I was, I began to make a list of all the things that I could possibly squeeze into one day. Then I realized, this is my last day. The museums, the shops, and the parks that I wanted to visit will most likely always be here. But the people? It started to hit me that we are all going back to our lives in the States and that I will never be able to live this moment again with them--our memories and experiences that no one else would completely understand back home.

Thus, I ended up lounging around on the grass by the foyer with some of my closest friends as we looked back on our semester abroad. What a relaxing day. It was not what I had planned, but it was simply perfect. From the wonderful company of friends, to the sunshine, the food, the music, and the conversations, I could not have asked for more.

I know I will be going home to a lot of "What was it like?" and other questions related to my experience abroad, but I can't even wrap my head around the fact that it all even happened. It's almost 5 in the morning right now as I type...the black sky has turned a shade of midnight blue and the birds are already chirping outside. The streets are still quiet, but I know in about two hours the clattering garbage truck will make its usual rounds and wake up the usual sleepers. The sun will come up and smile upon this city again, and everything will go as it usually does on Fridays. Meanwhile, one more resident will be picked up by the shuttle and she will press her head against the window to capture every inch of the city en route to the airport.

My stomach is up in the air right now. I'm at the tip of the roller-coaster right before the plunge. I don't know what to expect or how I will feel going back down. At least I know that everything I left behind will be the same and that there are others who will take part in this incredible ride after me. As of now, I'm going to throw my hands up in the air and praise the God who guides me through every turn.

I know that there's a great thrill awaiting me as I descend, and quite frankly, I'm excited.

Thank you to all my prayer partners throughout these past 6 months.
And merci mille fois, mon Dieu. Tu es vraiment bon.