Bucket List #4

In a very much giggle-filled late night conversation with a darling sister, we have both come to the conclusion that God is too big for us to be content with white picket fences. 

Nope, no picket fences for us. Only POP___s. I only write this to keep us both accountable. 

This entry may not make sense, but it's okay...it's for one pair of ears only.

So here goes bucket list number four: meet a  P O P ___.

hehe.

signed&sealed,

estherbaby & cathymomma

(in)debt(ed)

So now that I'm a college graduate (yikes, did I just say that?), I'm slowly learning to take on bigger responsibilities like handling my student loans. I completed my exit counseling not too long ago and literally laughed out loud (add a dose of depressed sarcasm) when I came to this part. Basically, a situation in which my loans would be cancelled would be: yes, if I die. It makes complete sense out loud, but on paper it just looks so...morose. As sad as this process may be, who knew that I would take away something good from this rather unhappy biggirl moment?


Let's face it. It's difficult to enjoy home when you know that you're going to be leaving in just a few weeks. While I'm excited to help out with church activities and enjoy dinner dates with the family, everything's so hard when you know that you'll be packing your bags soon and people start asking when you're flying back.


Nevertheless, God has been gracious in teaching me two things during those moments when I'm crying out to say that I'm not ready to leave home and am inwardly throwing a tantrum against my merciful Father: 
1. the importance of keeping an eternal perspective 
2. there is one debt that's already been fully paid for 


During these moments when I know that my time in Dallas is coming to a close (albeit temporary), I'm reminded of the importance of eternity. I sense the burden weighing on my heart every time someone asks me when I'll be seeing them next or every time I count down the days until my departure. I've begun to think, What if life had a time constraint? What if we knew the beginning and the end? What if this life was it? I could picture a world going crazy--hoards of people scrambling to get everything done and buying what they always wanted...a dog-eat-dog kind of world where people would be living for selfish gain. And yet, that is not how God made it to be. We don't know the end days (praise God) nor is this life all we have. Instead, we have eternity to look forward to and that is what makes each goodbye easier, each day a little sweeter. During these moments, I admire the courage of Abraham, who by faith was always "looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God" (Heb. 11:10). 


As I also find myself buckling under the pressure of student loans and more real-world responsibilities, I must remember that there is one debt that actually counts and it is one that no salary over a span of 230492 years can begin to pay off. And that is the debt of my sin, which Christ has paid for, in full (Rom. 5:10). 


During nights like these, I find new meaning to this age-old hymn: O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be! Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.