"Now there is a great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world" -1 Timothy 6:6-7
"Je suis contente". A phrase that I wrestled with and finally accepted while abroad. I quickly learned in Paris that "Je suis contente que..." was more commonly used than "Je suis heureuse que..." (literally "I am happy that...").
I had a problem with this. Even though in French, "content" has the same denotation as "happy," the English-speaker in me kept seeing this "content" as this watered-down version of being happy. So to express my utmost joy, I kept wanting to say, "Je suis heureuse!"
But contentment is s0 much greater than I had thought. I joined another fellowship's worship on campus with my roommate tonight, and boy, am I grateful for the conviction He has given me. It's a bit scary every time He exposes this heart of mine. He peels back a layer of my heart, but He does it in such a loving way that I am grateful for the temporary pain. I trust that it is fleeting next to the work He has promised to do in me.
Throughout this final (oy!) fall semester, I've been realizing how difficult and beautiful it is to be "content". In fact, I can look back on many moments during this past week when I was "happy" but when was I truly content? If I'm not content with my Father, the Giver of all things, am I seriously waiting for something greater than a relationship with Him? Job? Security? Family?
Without contentment in who He is, I will be chained to this sense of entitlement. I'll constantly be expecting something from my Father who already gave it all for me. And when He doesn't give (fill in the blank), I'll question His love for me. This is one roller coaster that I want to get off of.
"Trusting is the fruit of knowing the true nature of God."
I know God placed me in 1 Samuel and the Psalms right now for good reason. His faithfulness to the Israelites, His unending love for His people, and His incredible display of mercy to the faithless are His prodding at my own callous heart. Daddy, I don't want to be so blind-sighted. I want to see You for who You are. Paul knew of His Father's goodness. His Father's love for him. That was the key to his contentment. May I step in obedience and trust this new month.
"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me" -Philippians 4: 11-12
Je suis contente parce que Tu sois vraiment bon.
