(in)debt(ed)

So now that I'm a college graduate (yikes, did I just say that?), I'm slowly learning to take on bigger responsibilities like handling my student loans. I completed my exit counseling not too long ago and literally laughed out loud (add a dose of depressed sarcasm) when I came to this part. Basically, a situation in which my loans would be cancelled would be: yes, if I die. It makes complete sense out loud, but on paper it just looks so...morose. As sad as this process may be, who knew that I would take away something good from this rather unhappy biggirl moment?


Let's face it. It's difficult to enjoy home when you know that you're going to be leaving in just a few weeks. While I'm excited to help out with church activities and enjoy dinner dates with the family, everything's so hard when you know that you'll be packing your bags soon and people start asking when you're flying back.


Nevertheless, God has been gracious in teaching me two things during those moments when I'm crying out to say that I'm not ready to leave home and am inwardly throwing a tantrum against my merciful Father: 
1. the importance of keeping an eternal perspective 
2. there is one debt that's already been fully paid for 


During these moments when I know that my time in Dallas is coming to a close (albeit temporary), I'm reminded of the importance of eternity. I sense the burden weighing on my heart every time someone asks me when I'll be seeing them next or every time I count down the days until my departure. I've begun to think, What if life had a time constraint? What if we knew the beginning and the end? What if this life was it? I could picture a world going crazy--hoards of people scrambling to get everything done and buying what they always wanted...a dog-eat-dog kind of world where people would be living for selfish gain. And yet, that is not how God made it to be. We don't know the end days (praise God) nor is this life all we have. Instead, we have eternity to look forward to and that is what makes each goodbye easier, each day a little sweeter. During these moments, I admire the courage of Abraham, who by faith was always "looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God" (Heb. 11:10). 


As I also find myself buckling under the pressure of student loans and more real-world responsibilities, I must remember that there is one debt that actually counts and it is one that no salary over a span of 230492 years can begin to pay off. And that is the debt of my sin, which Christ has paid for, in full (Rom. 5:10). 


During nights like these, I find new meaning to this age-old hymn: O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be! Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.

Ballroom dancing

SYTYCD season 4. Kherington & Twitch. Viennese Waltz.

Taking ballroom this semester has been one of the best decisions yet.
Although I had my fair share of missteps and embarrassing wipe outs,

I love slipping into my socks and gliding across the gym floor like a Disney Princess.

It has taught me to follow and learn to let the man lead.

In this ever changing world, I hope such class never goes out of style.

It's amazing how many dances we've learned within the course of this semester,

but my favorite will always be the Viennese waltz.
I always think of this, one of my favorite performances on SYTYCD.

Thank you, RUF family

RUF Senior Night '12

This has been family to me for the past four years.
Four years of being in the front row seat,
watching the Lord touch and transform the lives of many on this campus.
Four years of watching Him peel layers and layers of my sinful self,
showing me the depth of my sins and beckoning me into His arms.
Four years of stepping out of my narrow-minded world view
and learning to see that the Kingdom is greater than I could ever imagine.
Four years of watching God grow a fellowship
in numbers and in relationships,
watching people from all the different nooks and crannies of this campus
come forth to worship Him with one voice.
Thank you for teaching me what relational ministry looks like, 
and for teaching me that there is a beautiful sameness in all of us.

Cameroon Update

“For every house has a builder, but the One who built everything is God” (Hebrews 3:4) 

I still remember sitting on the patio with Mr. Ngome as he tried to teach me the Limbum language. Oh, how the words would just roll of his tongue. I felt like I was reading music, it sounded so beautiful. I miss the peace and quiet that greeted me every morning when I made my way to Lucy's kitchen. She would already be up making foufou when I would still be struggling to open my eyes. I miss you, jingwehtata.

Wycliffe Associates mobilizes volunteers and teams to assist the Bible translation process around the world through a variety of support roles. Praise God that a new door has opened for Wycliffe Associates to construct a strategic translation center in Cameroon, Africa. This new center would help facilitate more than 40 language projects that are currently underway in Cameroon. Presently, there is no central location in the area for national Bible translators and language workers to be trained, ultimately slowing down the progress of Bible translation. There are still more than 100 languages, representing more than a million people, without any Scripture in Cameroon.

• Wycliffe Associates has the land and the building permit for this new training center. Please pray that God will supply the resources to begin construction. 

http://wycliffeprayer.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/new-construction-project-in-cameroon/

Book Bites: The Pursuit of God

"O God, quicken to life every power within me,

that I may lay hold on eternal things.

Open my eyes that I may see; give me acute spiritual perception;

enable me to taste Thee and know that Thou art good.

Make heaven more real to me than earthly thing has ever been. 

Amen."

"The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer

Simply reading through his reflections and prayers gave me a telling picture of 

how deep this man's relationship with God was. 

What also struck me was his reverence to God in all that he did,

especially in his academics. Perhaps it's because I've been reading a lot 

of Shakespeare through my English class lately, but this introduction

before the preface really struck me: 

"Aiden W. Tozer educated himself by years of diligent study

and a constant prayerful seeking of the mind of God.

With Tozer, seeking truth and seeking God were one and the same thing.

For example, when he felt he needed an understanding of the great

English works of Shakespeare, he read them through on his knees,

asking God to help him understand their meaning. 

This procedure was typical of his method of self-education."

Haha oh boy. I get frustrated enough having to constantly
check the footnotes to decode Shakespeare, but who says I can't lift
things like this in prayer? Why do I always sift and compartmentalize?
Everything is from Him, through Him, and to Him (Rom 11:36).
Thanks for the reminder, Mr. Tozer.

Self-education yet complete reliance on God.

Tozer became a theologian, scholar, and an incredible writer

with no formal teacher but the Holy Spirit and good books.

Whew, so in awe. So sufficient is the Lord.

Book Bites: The Kite Runner

"For you, a thousand times over"

The great thing about a six-hour train ride over spring break is that I get to dive into a great book. My roommate recommended "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini to me recently, so when I saw it on sale at the local library, of course I picked up my own copy! :)

It was so good that I finished it in three days (mostly on said train ride). Hosseini not only gives a beautiful portrayal of friendship, but opens your eyes to life in the Middle East and the beauty of the Arabic language--I ended up asking a close friend how to pronounce some of the words. So cool how they roll off your tongue. Being the sensitive creature I am, I of course ended up shedding many tears on the way back home. You could also tell that the writer's a skilled physician by the way he describes the numerous bodily injuries (not for the fainthearted) that take place throughout the novel. I cringed at certain parts, gasped, and even had to put it down momentarily before proceeding again. This novel takes you on one emotional roller coaster. It's beautifully written, and I can only imagine being half the friend that young Hassan is to Amir.

With my Praxis studies done and my admission ticket printed for tomorrow morning's exam, I will now treat myself to watching the film version as I make some pasta for dinner. Yum :) Happy Spring Break!

Matthew 14:6

"But Jesus said, 'Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me."

"If human love does not carry a man beyond himself, it is not love. If love is always discreet, always wise, always sensible and calculating, never carried beyond itself, it is not love at all. It may be affection, it may be warmth of feeling, but it has not the true nature of love in it."
-Oswald Chambers

A woman who would pour all she has at the feet of Jesus. A Savior who would take my sins to the cross. To love with complete, u t t e r abandon. Oh, how I pride myself when I'm not even on the preface of His great book of love. Oh, how deep, the Father's love for us.