still i will say

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name.

Funny how a song that you've been singing for so long suddenly becomes praise one day.

Dead words come to life.
Instead of seeing words, you feel it.
You see flashbacks of your own life that shout each chorus and verse--the pain, the joy,everything. A father who's hurting, the death of a friend, someone you let go, the words of a sister, the hands of your church members, a heartfelt letter, your mother's tears..
Suddenly, you're praising. really praising the Father who gave it all.
you're free.

Oh daddy, my heart hurts right now. I sang these words when I was happy and didn't understand exactly what I was saying to you then. I've been singing empty words to you, and now that I'm beginning to see a glimpse of this "darkness" and taste a bit of this "pain," I'm scared. Please forgive me and my little faith.
But Lord, you reminded me today that you have plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), so I'm going to hold onto that promise, even if it means letting go of the things that I held so dear. You're all that I have now, and I have nowhere else to turn. I am nothing without you, so please, don't ever let me go. You gave, and you took away, but my heart tells me that "God, you are still so good."

merci ma mère

"You remind me of your mom"

"You look just like your mom"

"You and your mom are the same person"

You can flatter me with words, but to me, the best compliment is when someone reminds me that I'm the daughter of this amazing woman right here.

Meet my mom. Her heart is ten times bigger than her smile, and her laughter will make your spirit soar. She's the type of person who takes her phone into the bathroom so she wouldn't miss our calls, who wakes up in the wee hours of the morning to make egg rolls for "the people that go unnoticed" in her life like the desk lady at work or a struggling coworker, who leaves breadcrumbs on our porch for the hungry birds, who mails me turtle food to feed the little family on campus, who reminds me every day that I am a precious daughter of God...I miss her.

Happy Mother's Day, mommy.
Umma, I pray that one day I will make my child as happy as you make me. Thank you so much.
God, thank you for showing us another glimpse of your love through beautiful moms all over the world.

embraced

"O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD."
-Psalm 139: 1-4

This might sound funny, but I feel like that flower right now...a flower that can't stop smiling as it basks in the sunlight. Let me explain.

After spending the first few minutes just getting settled in a desk cubby next to the window at the library, I finally got into the swing of things--read read, type type, flip, scroll [repeat]. Lo and behold, a cold breeze shoots out of the ventilation unit next to me just as I get into my "mode" (for those who are add like me, you might understand how rare and precious these occasions are).

I forgot that a library housing more than half the stressed out students on campus during exam week would crank up the air conditioner. Of course I arrived strutting my casual "84degreesoutside" summer wear to meet this below freezing atmosphere.

After walking around a few times, rubbing my legs/hands/toes, (even eye-ing the sweater sitting on an empty desk next to me...HAHA), I decided that it was time to find myself a new home. Just then, ta da! Sunlight. and lots of it.

The sun is knocking at my window right now. I feel so warm. It almost feels like the sun has wrapped its arms around me. So much sun that there is now a glare on my screen.

Thanks God. Although you gave me an excuse to continue my paper, I thank you for taking care of my needs... big or small. You take such good care of me, and it amazes me every time!

Spring Showers....

...bring MAY flowers!
I know that spring is finally here when these colorful tulips make their annual debut in front of the cafe.

Helloooo May :) It's hard to believe that yesterday was the last day of classes--my last day of sitting in a classroom as a sophomore. Oh man, time is ticking. I can still remember freshman year so vividly, and here I am already looking back on my second year of college. Wowie. I wish I could slow time right about now.

What's left? Final papers, readings, and lots of packing. What am I looking forward to? Lots of sunshine, relaxing friend time, seeing my family, and Cameroon.

Thank you Lord for the sunshine that's streaming through my window right now and for smiling down on me even when I fail. Please sustain me during these last two weeks in Williamsburg and help me to see the bigger picture when I get so caught up in my textbooks. Thank you for being so faithful this past year<3

wishful thinking

I wish...

-Oranges had zippers so I wouldn't squirt myself (and every one else around me) every time I try to peel one
-I wasn't so prone to getting paper cuts (3 in 2 days! okay, this one I could work at...)
-French books had their table of contents in the FRONT and not in the back (!)
-Old library books smelled like snuggles fabric softener instead of spewing out dust
-My sneezes weren't so loud and obnoxious (I think my poor old roommate just woke up)
-I had built-in immunity to fight the ridiculous amount of pollen in Williamsburg
-I could sleep in my warm comfy bed right now

amazed

Sometimes I like to be in control of my playlists.

Other days, I like this "freedom" of not choosing (as strange as that might sound), this weird joy in letting things just happen, and this anticipation of what's to come.

Today is one of those mornings.
I turned on Pandora and this song came up:

You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound

Lord I’m amazed by You
Lord I’m amazed by You
Lord I’m amazed by You
How You love me

How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me

-Amazed by Desperation Band

It's nice after a long, stressful night to be reminded in the morning what a blessing it is to wake up in His love, surrounded by His love, breathing in His love each and every day.

My pile of work just got significantly smaller. Well, not really...but you get the point. :]

Take a deep breath.
You are loved<3

brownies and blubber

me: i just ate a brownie.

haeseon, i have no self control

RIGHT AFTER WORKING OUT.

Haeseon: hahaa

me: who does that

HAHAHA

i told myself i'll eat half

i have a piece the size of my THUMB left :(

Haeseon: just finish it

haha

its okay

your metabolism is faster after you work out

me: true!

HAHAHA

done.

none left

Haeseon: just stay awake for a bit longer so that you have more time to metabolize the food.

good girl

story of my life.
mint-fudge brownies make your tummy smile.
friends make you smile after you eat one.

On another note, here's one tubby fellow that I have come to adore:

I fell in love with manatees when I visited the Dallas World Aquarium last summer. There's something about their saggy round faces, wrinkly smiles, and cute black button eyes that I find so cute. I want to just hug one. heehee.

Oh, and call me strange, but I find their jelly rolls quite endearing.

If I keep up with this late night sweet snack binging, who knows, I might become a round little manatee. Then, maybe I can join my friends at the aquarium...hmm. What can I say, I have a special place in my heart for round chubby creatures.